You Know, it Wasn't Always Like This
by lizwrites
Summary: Lilly has been keeping it inside for 12 years now, but in 12 years there hadn't been a reason to confront him about it. If you want more info, you've gotta read the story. Loliver- I can give you that much. Rating may or may not go up, but for now is T.
1. Summary

**Title: ****You Know, it Wasn't Always Like This...**

**YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!**

ALL new title ideas will be taken into consideration. Or should I leave it? Feedback Please!! :)

**Summary: **

Lilly has been keeping it inside for 12 years now, but in 12 years there hadn't been a reason to confront him about it. If you want more info, you've gotta read the story. Loliver- I can give you that much.


	2. Hate That I Love You

**A/N:**** Of course I have written loliver before, but I want to make this one a little more serious and realistic. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Hannah Montana or Disney Channel, or the song Hate That I Love You, or anything else that may come up in this chapter or story that someone could try and sue me for hahaha. I think that's enough. Time for the story!**

The music blared violently from the speakers. _"I hate how much I love you boy..." _And boy, was that ever true. I hate how every time he comes within slight contact with any part of my body, my heart pounds beyond limits. I hate how when it's just the two of us together, I have to act like there aren't flames burning in my heart and pumping through the rest of my body. I hate how I can't tell if he loves me more than a best friend. Mostly, though, I hate how I can't let go and just show him how much I love him.

I sighed and punched the radio's power button. It hadn't always been like this. Twelve years ago, when both of us were still just little four year olds running around shoving blocks in each other's faces, I hadn't loved him like this. Of course I had loved him, but in a preschool best-buddy sort of way. In third grade, the girls ran around in their pink sparkly dresses screaming that boys had cooties, but he and I always spent recess in the principal's office after a nice, dirty mud fight. Even then I hadn't felt this way about him. In sixth grade was when everything changed. The curse of hormones had decided to kick in, and I realized I wanted to be with him forever. Whether he loved me this way or not, I wanted to be with him, best friend or girlfriend. I shuddered at the word. If only.

I tore my thoughts away from him for about two seconds and stared at the problem in front of me, trying to focus on my math homework. A flash of light caught my eye and I looked to my right. There was a diamond framed picture of him and I from the beginning of this year. The sun must have caught it at an angle- how convenient. It was a picture of him and I from the end of this summer. I was smiling brightly, and he had his arm wrapped around my shoulder. Of course I was always smiling around him, that's how brilliant he was. I decided I wasn't getting anywhere with my homework, so I shoved it in my backpack and stood up. Sneaking another glance at the picture, I realized I had to get out of here. I yanked on a bikini top and a pair of boardshorts, and grabbed my favorite surfboard- it was a pale green and faded blue design with a white Hawaiian flower stamped in the middle- and headed for the beach.

After about an hour of non-stop wave riding, I decided I had to take a break. I pulled myself and the board back to the shore. I should've known my best friend- well, other than him- would be there. Why didn't I think to call her? I set my board down and walked toward her. Smiling, I peered over her shoulder and breathed slowly until she realized I was there. She screamed.

"Lilly! You could have given me a heart attack!"

I smiled brightly. "Sorry, just practicing my quiet skills."

My best friend laughed. "Lilly, you are the furthest person from quiet there will ever be."

I had to agree. Except for my skills at sneaking up on people, I was pretty dang loud. Didn't matter to me though, that's just how I was. He liked me that way... Damn it. There I was again, thinking about him.

My thoughts were cut short anyway when I heard the footsteps on the sand. I looked up and about twenty feet away, there he stood. I smiled, but that action stopped dead when I looked to the left of him. I scanned the two people I saw before me. His hand was wrapped around some curly-haired brunette's shoulders. My mouth gaped open. He let go of her to wave to me as he approached. His mouth opened.

"Hey L--"

"Save it," I practically growled. I snatched up my board and walked past him.

"What was that all about?" I heard him ask Miley.

She shrugged her shoulders. "She was fine till you got here." Boy, Miley was right about that.

The curly haired girl just stood there smiling stupidly, like nothing had happened. It was his turn to shrug his shoulders. "Probably PMSing."

PMSing? Hmph. When I got through with him he would _wish _I had just been PMSing... No, no, no. I couldn't hurt him. I loved him too much. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Remember, he didn't have to like me that way. He had every right to a girlfriend as I did to have a boyfriend. But I didn't want one! Not unless it was Oliver...

When I got home, I buried my face in my pillow and screamed as hard and long as I could without having to take another breath. And then I cried. I cried harder than I had ever cried in my life.

I woke up and looked at the clock. It had been three hours. I didn't remember falling asleep, but I didn't care. All I could think about was Oliver and his girlfriend. He had never had a girlfriend before! He had tried for all sixteen years of his life, but he had never actually succeeded. I bet she didn't even like him. She just wanted to be able to say she had a boyfriend. I couldn't blame just her, though. Oliver would go crazy over her, just because she had actually wanted to go out with him. I wondered who asked who out, but quickly realized I really didn't want to know.

I had had boyfriends before. Two of them. Neither of them measured up to Oliver, though, and neither of them ever would. I doubted that anyone ever would.

The phone rang. Finally, something to interrupt my thoughts. I grabbed it from the receiver and answered. So much for interrupting my thoughts- it was Oliver, himself.

"Lil, have you been crying?"

"No," I lied, though he could probably tell. After all, Oliver knew me inside out. Except that one thing...the fact that I loved him.

"Okay..." He paused. "Just wanted to make sure we were cool after the beach thing today."

The beach thing? 'The beach thing.' So that was what he was going to call it. What should I call it? 'The day I had my life ruined thing'. Or maybe 'The day the love of my life was stolen by some curly haired bitch'. Or instead of 'The beach thing', I could simply say 'The bitch thing'. Only I wasn't sure whether I was mad at the girl, Oliver, or myself. Maybe all three.

"Lilly?" Oliver's voice echoed through my head and emptied my brain of everything but him.

"What?" I realized I hadn't answered him. "Oh. Uh yeah, sorry 'bout that," I muttered.

"No prob. Listen, I really want you to meet Christie. Meet me at my locker tomorrow morning?"

I gritted my teeth and pretended to sound like I cared. "Of course. I gotta go, though, see ya then. Bye." I slammed the phone down.

So he wanted me to meet her, this girl that had ruined my life? Well, what could I do? I would go to school tomorrow and meet her...And I would try with everything I had not to kill her. Or Oliver. Or any innocent victim that happened to be within ten feet of me.

**A/N:**** Not much action in this chapter, but it's just the beginning. 2nd chapter will be up soon. Review please!**


	3. A True Friend

And I had been worried about killing this girl. No, I would never kill her. She seemed nice. That wasn't why I wasn't worried about killing her though, no. I was too busy trying not to burst out into tears to worry about not murdering anyone at the moment. I was too afraid that if I made one wrong move, I would shatter into a million pieces and be left for the janitor to sweep up and throw away. Well, at least I'd be in the same place as my heart- the garbage.

It wasn't so bad, partly because I had purposely arrived at school five minutes before the first bell rang just so I only had those five terrible minutes to survive through. Oliver waved to me and his girlfriend flashed a fake smile. I doubted she even remembered my name. I wouldn't try to remember hers either. I trudged on to class and pretended to listen to what my teachers said.

Lunch time eventually came, though I had been dreading it. I walked with Miley to our usual table, and I was actually feeling all right, enough so that I was able to act normal. I listened as Miley chattered on about a celebrity party she had been to last night, and I squealed at the parts I would normally be over-excited about. Then Oliver came by the table.

"Hey Lilly, Miley." I had always secretly appreciated him putting my name before Miley's, but today I could care less.

I glared at him. "Sure you wanna sit here, Oliver?"

He didn't notice the look I gave him. "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Well, I don't know. Won't Carly miss you terribly? She might die alone in the long forty-five minutes we have for lunch."

Oliver frowned. Good, he was finally getting it. "Her name is _Christie_, and Lilly I don't know why you can't at least pretend to care that I have a girlfriend." He said it teasingly, but he didn't understand that that had been exactly what I was trying to do.

Uh-oh, something must have clicked in Miley's head. She looked at me wide-eyed for a second, but turned away before Oliver could notice. Shit. How could I lie to Miley? I'd have to go straight home after school, or I'd be in for it. That meant avoiding my best friend. Great, now I'd have to spend even more time alone while I was upset. Ugh. Even if I couldn't tell her this particular problem, she could get my mind off of things. Not this time if I didn't want her to find out.

"Lilly, are you okay?" Miley asked. I looked up from staring at my tray and realized Oliver was staring too.

"I-I'm fine." I heard my voice crack, and noticed my eyes were tearing up. "Allergies, sorry," I lied. I knew that was lame. Miley would never believe that one, even Oliver probably wouldn't.

Both of my best friends were giving me weird looks. I picked my tray up and dumped the rest of my lunch in the garbage. Miley and Oliver stared after me as I walked to class.

After school, I looked over at Oliver's locker. He stood laughing with Christie, like nothing had happened at lunch. I ran into the girls bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I heard footsteps about a minute after I sat down. I looked under the door and sighed when I saw the familiar shoes. I gave up before she could even say anything and opened the door. Miley opened her arms for me and I accepted the hug.

"Lilly, you know Oliver doesn't love Christie. They haven't even kissed yet, and that's surprising considering the only reason he's ever wanted a girlfriend is to be able to say he kissed someone."

My eyelids prickled. "Not helping," I mumbled.

"Sorry. But Lilly, I mean I think he's waiting for the right girl for his first kiss. He's a guy, hon, he'd never admit it, but honestly if they didn't hold hands you couldn't tell they were even a couple."

I just nodded.

"Come on, Lilly, talk to him."

I shook my head. Then my eyes widened. "Did Oliver see me run in here?"

Miley bit her lip. "Well...yeah. He knew you were crying at lunch too," She admitted. Seeing my face fall, she added, "But he's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. As far as he knows you're just having girl issues."

I laughed a little. "Girl problems. Hah...yeah, only if Oliver's a girl..."

That made both of us laugh. I had to admit, it felt good that someone else knew. It felt even better knowing I didn't even have to say anything, and Miley knew what was wrong. That's what best friends were for, right? Miley really was a true friend.

"You know what, Lilly? Speaking of girl stuff, I think it's time for a girls night."

"You know it is!" I smiled. Only my best friend could cheer me up when my other best friend was tearing me apart. I felt better though, just a little bit. Especially knowing they hadn't kissed yet.


	4. It's a Girl's Night, it's All Right

Turns out a girls night might have been what I needed. It was now eleven o'clock at night, and Miley and I were still wide awake sitting on her living room floor. We had just finished watching a movie and now we had nothing to do with the leftover popcorn but throw it at each other. By twelve o'clock, the floor was clean and we were exhausted from laughing and having fun. I knew this all too well. We were going to change into our pajamas and lay in bed talking until at least two o'clock. I also knew that there was no way in hell I would escape to sleep tonight without talking about the Oliver situation. That was okay with me, though. I really had felt better telling Miley about it.

So that night, or morning, we lay in Miley's bed staring at the ceiling. Her dad was in bed, and Jackson was at his girlfriend's house. I let in a rush of air and exhaled. I knew what was coming. Obviously Miley could tell I knew.

"You know, Lilly, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I think I can manage."

So I told Miley the whole story. How I had liked him since the sixth grade, but I had been able to hide it so well because, well, this had never happened before. She waited patiently and really listened while I let it all pour out- words, tears, everything.

"Wow, Lilly. I'm not just saying this, okay, I mean it. You need to talk to him."

I nodded my head, forgetting it was dark and she couldn't see. "But Miley, how can I talk to him about this when he has a girlfriend?"

I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Just do it."

We both drifted off to sleep. I knew she was right, I would have to talk to him tomorrow, before I could lose my confidence.

I woke up to the smell of pancakes instead of the loud beeping of my alarm clock. I stirred and stretched. It took me a moment to realize I was at Miley's house. I rolled over and saw that Miley was still fast asleep. Of course, she was used to smelling this so it wouldn't wake her up. I got up, changed, and went downstairs. Miley's dad looked up at me from behind the counter.

"Hey, Lilly," He greeted with his Tennessee cowboy accent.

I flashed him a smile. "Morning, Mr. Stewart."

"Ready for some pancakes?"

"Pile them up!" I said cheerfully. It was always nice spending the night at the Stewart home. I was always treated like family, and it cheered me up. Of course I was still upset about...No I couldn't think his name. Too late. Just like that, the butterflies floated into the pit of my stomach and fluttered nonstop.

"You know, Lilly, you always could eat." Mr. Stewart's voice jerked me back to reality. And the delicious chocolate chip pancakes drenched in syrup just waiting for me to take a bite.

"And you always could cook!" I said with a laugh. I dug in, trying hard not to think of what I had to do at school later this morning.

By the time I had finished the rest of my pancakes, Miley had gotten ready and given me half of her pancakes. I ate until I couldn't eat anymore. She could tell I was happier. We got a ride to school with Jackson, and that was great until I remembered that now I was at school too early. Early enough that I could talk to Oliver. Great. I grabbed my backpack and gave Miley a quick hug for good luck, and walked through the double doors into the school hallway.

_You can do this._ I told myself. I took a deep breath. I almost lost it when I saw him at his locker. He was alone, though, and it might be the only chance I got with him for awhile. I gathered myself and walked towards him. He brightened up when he saw me. That wasn't fair. He couldn't get my hopes up like that.

"Where's Christie?" I mumbled.

He studied my expression and finally guessed that I wasn't about to storm off this time.

"I broke up with her," He said. He didn't seem upset at all.

I felt a little guilty. "Oh, I'm sorry. What happened?"

"Nah, don't be. I don't know, I guess I didn't really like her, ya know? Listen, Lil, are you sure we're still cool?"

Scratch that. Now I felt really bad. "Oliver, if you did that because of the way I was acting..."

He looked genuinly confused. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. We should get to class, okay?"

He laughed softly. "Lilly, we have a half hour before the bell rings."

"Oh." I blushed. He put his hand on my shoulder, and my heart started racing.

"Can we take a walk? I need to talk to you."

I bit my lip. How much did he know? "Uh, sure," I said nervously.

He smiled. He put his arm around my shoulders and I did nothing to stop him. I smiled. We didn't talk for awhile. Oliver held the door open and I walked outside with him following. Finally, after about three minutes of silence, Oliver spoke.

"There is a reason I broke up with Christie," He stated.

"Oh?" I both said and asked. He fidgeted a little, and I had major butterflies just watching him. "What is it, Oliver?"

He opened his mouth but shut it again. He tried again. "See..." I waited patiently, and looked up at him. He seemed a little nervous. "Well, there's this other girl that I like, but I'm sort of afraid to tell her."

"I know what that's like," I muttered. So he didn't want to talk to me because he knew I liked him. He wanted advice.

"I don't know, Lilly, should I tell her? What do you think?"

I pulled away from him. That was it. "What do I think? What do I think? You know what, Oliver, why does it even fucking matter what I think?" I ran to the bathroom with tears streaming down my face. A few people looked at us with strange looks, but I'm pretty sure neither of us cared.

All right, I'll admit I might have overreacted a little bit. Being locked in a stall by myself for two class periods had made me come to that decision. I guess I just got set off. But how could I face him now? I sighed. Miley would come to find me sooner or later. Usually she went to the other one for lunch, though so it could be till the end of the school day. I didn't care though, I didn't want to face Oliver.

There was a knock on the stall door. I woke up and stretched. Woah, how long had I been asleep for? Wait, asleep in the bathroom? Wow, I was pathetic. I stood up and unlocked the door. Miley stood in front of me with a worried look on her face. I looked past her into the mirror. Eyeliner was smeared down my cheeks.

"What time is it?" I asked in a weak voice.

"School just got out, but Jackson got a ride with his girlfriend. I'm driving us home, so take any time you need to talk--"

"He told you, didn't he?" I asked, tearing up again.

Miley nodded. "Lilly, I know you don't think you can talk to him." She knew me so well. "But you need to. He's waiting outside for you."

My eyes widened. I went to the mirror to try and fix my makeup, but my best friend caught my arm.

"Lilly. I really don't think he cares."

I nodded and then swallowed. Miley pushed open the door, and I walked through. I could barely meet Oliver's gaze. He put a hand on my shoulder.

"We have to talk, Lil," He said gently. He saw my look and continued immediately. "You know, the girl I was talking about earlier...that girl is..." He paused and looked away. He looked back at me. "That girl is you."


	5. We're Gonna Start All Over

Even more tears streamed down my face now, but gently this time, not the stressful kind that just force their way out. It felt like ten zillion bricks had just been lifted off of my shoulders. Oliver wiped a tear away with his thumb.

"Don't cry, Lil."

"But...but I thought you..." I couldn't finish. I just buried my face in his shirt. He rested his chin on my head and let me cry.

"I'm sorry," He said.

I looked up at him. "Sorry?" I asked. His eyes were watery.

He nodded. "I never meant to hurt you, Lilly. And there are a lot of things I have to talk to you about, but I want you to know this first. When I was talking about that other girl- you- I said I liked another girl. That was a lie. I don't like you...I love you."

I sniffed. "I love you too, Oliver. I thought this day would never come. I've been waiting since sixth grade."

He brightened up a little. "So have I. Lilly, let's sit down. I have a lot to say." I could only nod as I let him drag me to the closest bench. I sat facing him, one hand intertwined with his. "Lilly...I'm sorry I went out with Christie. I knew I loved you and no one could ever measure up with that, but to tell you the truth I didn't know you felt the same way about me as I felt about you. It's embarrassing being a sixteen year old guy and not even being able to say you've kissed a girl. I sound like a pig, I know. But I've never even had a girlfriend before. I figured I should try and move on, you know. I didn't even like Christie like that. I'm so sorry, Lil."

I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. "Don't be sorry, Oliver. You didn't react like I did when I had a boyfriend. And I've had three...so you're much better at this than I am."

Oliver half-smiled. "Not to be sexist, but I'm a guy. I am supposed to tolerate it. You have no idea how hard it was...well I guess you do. I love you Lilly, and now that I know you love me, I never want to lose you."

I smiled. "Oliver, prepare to never be embarrassed again."

"Huh?" He asked, confused.

I laughed lightly and touched his chin. I pulled his face to mine and pressed my lips against his. He wrapped his arms around me and I draped my other arm around his neck. I pulled away after a couple minutes. He smiled at me. His dark eyes sparkled.

I laughed. "How was that for a first kiss?"

"Amazing. And there's no one I'd rather have done that. Thanks Lilly."

"Any time. Literally."

Oliver smiled. "Okay."

And he reached in and we started all over again.

**A/N****: Yeah, yeah short chapter and things are happening fast I know. My story. If you don't like it, don't read it. Easy as that. Anyways, there will be more!**


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